Just to move on from these, I am going to post the final lessons. My comments in italics.Lesson 81. Hollow out a melon.2. Make a small hole in the side.3. Suspend it from the ceiling and swing it from side to side.4. Now get a bowl of soggy Cheerios and attempt to spoon them into … Continue reading Parenting Lesson #8, 9, 10, 11

Lesson 7Go to the local grocery store. Take with you the closest thing you can find to a pre-school child. (A full-grown goat is an excellent choice). If you intend to have more than one child, then definitely take more than one goat.1. Buy your week's groceries without letting the goats out of your sight.2. … Continue reading Parenting Lesson #7

Lesson 6Forget the BMW and buy a mini-van. And don't think that you can leave it out in the driveway spotless and shining. Family cars don't look like that.1. Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment. Leave it there.2. Get a dime. Stick it in the CD player.3. Take … Continue reading Parenting Lesson #6

Lesson 5 Dressing small children is not as easy as it seems. 1. Buy an octopus and a small bag made out of loose mesh.2. Attempt to put the octopus into the bag so that none of the arms hangout. Time allowed for this - all morning.This one just cracks me up. Colt is learning … Continue reading Parenting Lesson #5

Lesson 4Can you stand the mess children make? To find out...1. Smear peanut butter onto the sofa and jam onto the curtains.2. Hide a piece of raw chicken behind the stereo and leave it there all summer.3. Stick your fingers in the flower bed.4. Then rub them on the clean walls.5. Take your favorite book, … Continue reading Parenting Lesson #4

I haven't had a chance to post the remaining Parenting Lessons, but I will continue later on.Last week we had an unexpected interruption in our lives. For the third time, we were left with a deep sadness and shock as once again we lost a child. It is hard to write this now, but I … Continue reading Interruption

Lesson 3A really good way to discover how the nights might feel...1. Get home from work and immediately begin walking around the living room from 5PM-10PM carrying a wet bag weighing approximately 8-12 pounds, with a radio turned to static (or some other obnoxious sound) playing loudly.2. Eat cold food with one hand for dinner3. … Continue reading Parenting Lesson #3

Yesterday I started sharing with you the Eleven Step Program to see if you are ready for parenting. Here is the next lesson.Lesson 2Before you finally go ahead and have children, find a couple who already are parents and berate them about their...1. Methods of discipline.2. Lack of patience.3. Appallingly low tolerance levels.4. Allowing their … Continue reading Parenting Lesson #2

I received this Eleven Step Program from a friend at work. I laughed the whole way through, but since it involves eleven steps, I will share one a day and let you think on it.Thinking of Having Kids? Do this 11 step program first!Lesson 11. Go to the grocery store.2. Arrange to have your salary … Continue reading Parenting Lesson #1

We have been spending a lot of time outside now that the weather has turned a little warmer. And of course, now that I am pregnant I can't take my normal allergy medicine (which you don't realize how well it is working until you aren't taking it and you are miserably sneezing and blowing your … Continue reading Spring, and allergies, are here