To be honest, I don’t even know where to start on spewing forth the information that my husband and I were bombarded with last evening at our first childbirth class. I was so completely overwhelmed when we finished and yet my husband was saying “That was so cool. I learned so much. What do you think?” After trying very hard to hold back the panic in my voice, I said “To be honest, I am really scared now.”

It started off so innocent. The first topic was “What is labor?” and “What are the signs of real labor versus false labor?” Ok, I can handle that. Good things to know because they said that if you are in false labor, they will just send you home. Also, not to come to the hospital until you are in “active labor” because after that you will be put in a bed, not able to walk around and get comfortable or even eat.

But the really scary part was the “what if” scenarios. What if your water has not broken yet? What if you are in labor for a long time and are exhausted and cannot push anymore? What if the baby is not coming out? What if the baby starts to go into fetal distress? What if you have to have an emergency C-section? What if…? What if…? What if…?

I know that there are a thousand things that can go wrong during the pregnancy, let alone the delivery, but I just wasn’t prepared for what I was hearing. I know that the instruments they showed us are used daily and that they deliver hundreds of perfectly healthy babies everyday. But I couldn’t help the fear that ripped through me (or maybe it was just indigestion).

“What am I doing having a baby?” was running through my mind the entire evening and even into the night. I dreamt of having the baby, instruments needed to help, nurses everywhere, the hospital room and of course, my loving husband standing right beside me.